scare.

I, always scare about how long could one friendship stand?
actually i don't know the answer, but I always tell myself, i don't know, but it can be forever?
for a whole life, if nothing happens. So how about if somethings happened? then will started got misunderstanding, and may be argue? or , the friendship will come to an dead end here.
I very scare to be alone, although sometime i very enjoy to be alone, but i more scare to be left down. Without me they are totally the same, so why am I existing here? I can't find the reason that I'm existing here. Will you be more happier when be with me?

I always hope when people be with me, they will be happier, therefore, i can't be sad. I must always smile, be positive, because I scare when I'm upset, they won't be happy, so i must be happy no matter what, no matter what, i must be happy.

humans always because of not enough of trust between them, they need promises,
but the more promises they have, actually the more unsafety they felt.
promises are always can't be accomplish for a whole life, that's why i anti promises,
i don't need it since it doens't last forever.

I always the one, who looks very heavy in a story's ending.
that's why if u ask me ,
i prefer a relationship or a friendship that can last until the end,
and may be , i will rather to miss abit the plots.
i don't care what happened in the middle, but i hope the ending of the story, is a picture that everybody is smiling.

New timetable

okay okay.. new time table is out..i'll use this time table if i didnt fail any of the previous subjects..
MONDAY
economics2 11-12.30pm

TUESDAY
accounting2 8-11am
economics2 11-12.30pm
sociology2 2-3.30pm

WEDNESDAY
accounting2 2-3.30pm

THURSDAY
sociology2 2-5pm

FRIDAY
economics2 8-9.30am

If i can pass all my previous subjects, then i will be using this timetable (quote from my coursemate )

the lyrics of my favourite song, wishes.

I looked in the sky and there
I saw a star shining so bright above
I closed my eyes and wished upon the star
that I would find true love
Someone who needed me
Someone to share my life
For a love that would be true
I would wait forever
So...no...matter how long it may be
I will be waiting
One star-brighter than the others
Two Hearts-beating for each other
I believe wishes really come true
Love at first sight
I knew it from the moment when you said hello
I hoped you felt it too,
but we both so shy-
how was I to know
when you reached for my hand
I knew you were the one
We laughed and talked for hours
like I'd known you forever
Like...a...dream or something from a book
True love had found me
One star-brighter than the others
Two Hearts-beating for each other
Noe I see wishes really come true
You just have to dream
Nothing's as bad as it seemsto be...
believe me
Someone's waiting for you to try
There in the sky
One star-brighter than the others
Two Hearts-beating for each other
You will see wishes really come true
You can't stop believing-wishes do come true
You gotta believe me (wish on a star)
wishes do come true...


Japanese version of this song, ( in chinese meaning ) .
hehe.. 还蛮适合的~
温暖的诗句
有多久没有见到你了呢
寄出去的信　　
今早又飞回到我的信箱里
有如在窗边摇曳　　
刚苏醒的嫩叶般越过了长长的寒冬　　
我这才发觉
任何言语也不足以表达你所给予我的爱　　
包容了我的一切有如向阳一样
两人最后的合照里　　
油菜花热情地绽开着
虽无法做出我会寄给你的之约定
但既是现在　
我也能将温柔与真心双手捧着送你
尽管以后我们将喜欢上不同的人
但是你留给我的一切　　我将不会忘记我会试着再去爱谁
在这广阔的天空下　　
既使再无法相逢　　
我仍会继续过着生活
对于这样的我
你由衷所给予我的爱　　
包容了我的一切有如向阳一样
你由衷所给予我的爱　　
包容了我的一切那正是温暖的阳光　

Lazy!

I'm a very lazy person, I trust my friends know it very very well. Of course, I'm very lazy to write blog too.
SO, for countdown information in 24th christmas eve, and new year eve, can go have a look on shui and bay's blog, and combine it, then became mine. hahahaha =D..

>>> spray until like this -_-...

24th, I went to times square after i woke up, my pet dad, abu called me up to meet him at times square, he always disappear suddenly for months, so I must hurry up myself to meet him up, or else in this few months i no need to see him anymore, met my secondary buddies there, jiun, my pet mom, xin, lim min, xiao min, fu qin, yen yang...... hehe . i like you all, especially the girls. shopping with you all really is a very memoriable experience, especially when we are taking picha inside the fitting room when we don't have enough budget to buy the leng clothes, HAHAHA...

after that, they went home and prepare for their gathering at night, so I fetch min home and going the curve alone, ngek ngek... SO romantic neh~? I just want to see fire works there jek, but dim ji that night dont have fireworks =(........ which sin gah sin me geh! but that night i met raymond , shui and ah lei there, hehe... very happy gum. Most happy is can play SPRAY SPRAY... hahahaha, i don't know why, i love to play that thing =D.. heeheheh.... that night I saw the fireworks by my heart, not by eyes, ( from lei ) but i saw fireworks by eyes on 31st dec.. new year eve, really DAMN leng ah~ 1st time i stand under the fireworks, open ur mouth , and show a very shocked face towards the fireworks, it is really nice, i keep screaming nonstop only haha,
HOU LENG AH HOU LENG AH!!!

i decide not to take picha on that night, because i scare my blueish camera will become snow bubble white after i take it out, hehehe, even i wore a black dress tat night, but after the game, im in white . hahahahah , but still very happy, run! for the fireworks, RUN! for escaping from spray! RUN! to greet others, HAPPY NEW YEAR! and yeah, when back home,RUN, and kena block because of overspeed T_T... not very fast only ma, and thanks ken . i never expect u are so @_@ warm.. and thanks , for pei me and sit in my car, and.. the mini maze game in the curve at midnight. hahah! once more next time? ngek ngek...

Last year my hope is not to stay single in 2008
but this year my hope is to stay single in my 2009.
so I see will I get the opposite, dreams, nvr comes true T_____T........
there got no white horse prince, snow white got, on new year eve, muahahah~
those are gong siu jek, last year count down with ji mui, thats why wishes also emo abit.
but this year i jeng ging abit,
I not so wei da until hope the world stay peace,
But i hope there is no war,
I can't stop my parents and grandparents from getting old,
But I hope they stay healthy,
I can't make sure my brother in law can take care very well of my sis,
But I hope He will accompany her for her wholelife no matter what.
I can't control my friends to be happy in all of their time,
But I hope they don't always emo, and cry if you need, find me, i lend u my shoulder. hahaha
At least, after cry, I hope they have a smile on their face.
I not so greedy to hope i get distinction in all of my subjects,
But I hope I can get flying colours only.
I not so greedy to hope I can diet until 45 kg,
But I hope i can deduct 5 kg from my weight.
I can't sure there is a leng zai to come and take my phone number,
But I hope when i ask his phone number, he won't run off from me lah HAHAHA...

Singapore's trip

This is my sister and her dear, my future jie fu!



TALL LEH?Don't bully me, or else I ask him to stare at you, MUAHHAA..




Just arrived at sg, 1 st place i went, the bugis junction. christmas tree , ngek ngek.



.Starfish ah~~~~~Can touch , ngek ngek, still got stingray !! smoothnya, i think cook jor, sure nice to eat....



BIG leh this book, ngek ngek... and my FACE very BIG too.. haih..







You see my hungry face is it very very yiong sui leh?欠打。kena stolen took geh picha...





Me and mirc ah, my "aiya" DAI KORH.



see he closed his eyes then know he no eyes to see me la. haih..

The song of the sea~ i think its most likely the dance of the sea~





In the aquarium! I saw the great white shark... and 1 question, why they put the shark with those fish, but the shark nvr eat them gerh? @_@ MUACKS ... kiss kiss stingray~

每一次看见你，我总有一种想亲近，却又无能为力的感觉。
所以我小心翼翼，不让自己有机会接近你。
那天我又看见你了。我最喜欢你穿的白色tshirt,配上你一直以来不会变的jeans 和球鞋。
我曾经以为，我不会再有想念你的感觉。好不甘心，我居然又失败了。要两年了。呵呵...
想念你。所以我不允许除了你以外的另一个人，他只会让我更加寂寞。

I miss those days.

This post, is for my dear family's members.

That day, i went back ipoh, in the car, i hold my grandma's hand...
its still so warm, so big and so real...
But it did change, not as smooth as last time and... it seems like full of the scars of the ages...
She is getting older and older, I wish I could stop it.. was trying to swept away the wrinkles on her hands, so i keep rub and rub her hands... but it seems like don't want to leave her hands at all... until she is wondering what am I doing,she smile and asked, " what you doing?"... then she smile and says, "your hands is so big now, grown up already..., so nice hands, when will you hold a boy friend and bring him back home?"
Grandma, is a very " in " woman, heh.. she is very cute and adorable. Just like the one in the " gah hou yuet yuen, moonlight resonance" drama... In my mind, she is always so healthy and strong... She is always very funny and... she is very pin sam, ( pilih kasih ). My family says, i look very alike with her, even my characteristic , very similiar with her. May be that's why she especially likes to talk with me, and sayang me a lot. How i wish she could... attend my wedding ceremony, and hugs my sons and daugther. I want her to bargain my "lai gam" with his family too... But.. I'm worrying now.. because, i couldn't stop the time... Her hand is going dryer and dryer, no matter I buy how many bottles of moisturizer... it's just couldn't stop the facts...

My parents,
that day they heard about my sister is going to marry soon, I saw a piece of upset on their face, but very fast it had covered by the happy emotions. They are happy for their daughter, but they actually is ng seh dak in their heart... Mom says she wants to make a kei pou to wear in her wedding ceremony, then i suggest we 3 can wear kei pou together... Actually i quite jealous my sis and bro... dad and moms are still able to attend their ceremony, with fully attention, and even can make a nice dress for it , plan for it, and at their age, they can born a kid for them. My parents love kids a lot, I can see it from how they spoilt my cousin's children. My mom borned me when she is 42. I assume I'm going to marry at I'm 30, she is 72 that time, will she able to wear kei pou that time? .... I just wish, she can be still healthy enough, to help me, judge about the guy that I'm marrying...

Last time,
I always like to hang my hands on my dad's pant's pocket, the place ngam ngam for my height to put my hands there. and one more reason is becuz, in there, always got a lot of candysssssssss, which I like to eat a lots. Now, I'm almost as tall as him when i'm wearing my high heel shoes... when he went to shopping with me in genting, he even felt tired and legs began to pain becuz he stood too long... i miss those days, when i fall down on the road, he still can carry me up, the big shoulder... although my bloods is spread on his shirt, he is only concern about whether I'm hurt or not... he is always like that... he will never scold me, even I knew it's my fault... he will just says, you are still young, sure will do something wrong, isn't it?
Dad,
Thanks for always holding the umbrella for me when there is raining... I saw ur shoulder has all gone wet actually.
Thanks for always forgives me when I did something wrong...
Thanks for a whole bed of stuffed toys...
Thanks for 18 years , you will give me what I wished for my birthday as always.. Never got 1 time i will be disappointed by your presents...

That day, when the car had broke down... my phone had gone no battery, after i get to contact you, I can feel your worries... Sorry for make you worry... even i broke the car's realm that may cost you over 1k bucks, but when 1st sight you see me, you're smiling... and even when you choose the realm, you still ask for my preference...

You always....make me smile when I'm upset...
I can rarely find a dad will sms his daugther while she is bored in class. But you are the one...
Although you don't like i sleep in the morning and wake in the afternoon, but in the morning before u go to work, I still noticed that you are putting off my curtain to avoid the sunlights burned on my legs... I still see you off my fan, and on the air cond for me...

I remember when I'm in primary school... I forgot to bring my homework. and you are the one, when i call you, you will never scold, and rush back home, bring the small brown notebooks for me...

I remember no matter how busy you are, when I felt sick, you will come back home or come over my school to fetch me see doctor, before you leave my room to go back office, there is always a cup of warm water beside my bed with the medicines there.

I remember when I'm staring at the stuff I like, you will try your best to get it for me, even I never say anything....

I remember you will always buy my favourite cheese cake when I'm upset... You thought I will be happy for the cake because the cake is my favourite, but I'm actually touched by you. Because I know, no matter what happened, you will be there... My biggest tree that I can always hide under... My perfect protection.

I remember last time when all people are rushing sister to get marry, you are the one who says,
You are always able to take care of your daugthers , no matter how old they are, no need to rush.

I remember when I'm small, you will always help me to split away the chicken and the bones,
take out the bones from the fish even until I'm 12 years old. or now... tear off the prawn's shell for me sometime...

You will purposely orders fish for me, or any others seafood, but actually you don't like it. Your favourite is pork and chicken... but our dishes are always fish , vegetables and taufu. Because you know I'm on diet...

You know about what kinds of snacks I like, I don't like pepsi, coca cola. I like vitagen, even which colour is my favourite taste, you can tell it, and the refrigerator, is always full with the whole bar of that colour's vitagen... You know I like bread with the peanut and grape taste jam, the kitchen always have it.... You even know I like the red cheese ring, that's why when I'm sleeping in car, you will buy me one when u are pumping petrol...

You know I scare to fail in my exams, that's why you always tell me, just try your best, there is always another choice than the exams...

I remember last time, everyday I will looking forward for the time you get back home from work, You always will smile with a very gg face, and brings some surprise back for me, candy? chocolate? or whatever you bought for me, everyday, it's different...

I scare alone at home, I scare alone everywhere, tat's why when i go genting, you will always wait until I felt asleep only leave the hotel to casino... even when I suddenly get to woke up, I will saw your sms, anything, call me... for a supper..

You disagree with going starbucks, 15 bucks for per drinks, its killing you. But you will ta pao it and put it on the table... before you leave the room...

You know I like to go cinema for movies, thats why u brought me to watch the 3D movies... even you say, pei you watch, but It is a cartoon...

I like to watch animation and cartoon a lot, you and mom will always pei me and watch the 2 hours cartoon there.

Dad, you had spoilted me... and now, I wish I can pay you back something... How I hope i can reduce the white hairs on your head... I hope you always stay healthy.. I hope I can buy you a brand new car.. for going up genting, that little car really worry me up everytime when u driving to genting... I wish I could borned u a grandson to play with you... I hope I can pei you and mom forever.. Why when i grow up, all the ppls around me will get old... I hope i can be irrealistic for 1 time, can I keep growing, but you all stay at this age? Stay healthy.... I love you , dad. as always.. and forever. I'm really glad and appreciate that you're my dad, and I'm your daughter. I really felt, Im the luckiest daughter in the world. Thank you, my dearie lou dao . -to be continue LOL