好久没写了~ long time no.. write~

这几天好忙啊~
忙着要油漆，去party~
钱真得很不好用！@_@
一下子就可以花上几百块。马来西亚钱就是这样。钱的面额太小，所以我们只好省吃俭用一些！
呵呵~

这几天除了忙着陪妈妈去买衣，然后油家里的漆，去了朋友的趴地，然后。。。就是错过了乌鸦的入伙派对。对不起阿~不好意思！

好多朋友都变了好多。
那天在1u遇见一个自己以前喜欢过的男生。
好像戏里的情节，搭着esculator,我正在下着parking, 他在反方向。
那时候，我曾经看到他都会脸红心跳，
那阵子，我曾经整个脑都是他，
也哭过了，笑过了。结果只是一场无知的暗恋。嘿嘿。。。
现在的他早已经不是我喜欢的类型。
最好笑的是，
我看着他很久，他也注意到了我，
结果他看了一阵子，
居然不认得了。
也难怪，我跟以前真得变了很多，
哈哈哈。 他们说不认真看是不会注意到我就是以前的我。
有那么一点悲哀。。。
以前的我就是那么的不起眼。。

出现了也很容易让人忘记。。
也很容易让人忽略我的存在。。
轻飘飘，就像叶子一样。。
自己曾经喜欢过的人，如果遇上了，却像陌生人，
感觉还是有点不开心吧？
我当然不是说那天遇到的他。

曾经一起过，曾经山盟海誓，曾经甜蜜、浪漫、幸福、难过。。甚至后悔。。心痛。。
但是如果再一次让你们遇见。。
就像是陌生人。。
感觉就会很像造化弄人。。
心里总会觉得很无奈。。也很心疼。。他过得还好吗？
看起来瘦了，还一样和以前一样吗？
还在微笑吗？
又跟妈妈吵架了吗？
姐姐有欺负他吗？
他读书开心吗？有压力吗？
功课能应付吗？
这些问题，明明知道问了也不一定得到真的答案。
我已经失去资格和他。。。一起。。。一起。。。开心，或者伤心。。一起。。拥有幸福。。
因为我们已经走在两条不同的路上。。。。
这两条不同方向的路。。可能背道而驰。。 我们还会有交集吗？还是像两条平行线？
还是你会刻意的避开我？
其实，
都不重要了。。。只要能知道我们都过得还好。。还好。。
一句还好。。
加上一个礼貌的微笑。。
却觉得距离已经很遥远。。。
我已经接受了。。
那些只剩下回忆的点点。。
现在的我，
不会回头望了。。

我曾经站在原点。。不断的。。不断的回头望。。。
我曾经，想念你，连房间都不敢进。
连经过我们一起走过的地方，眼泪都很不听话。。。曾经因为这样闹别扭，省自己闷气。。
你腼腆的微笑。。这么的温暖。。就像能融化整颗心一样。。。
你的手总是握的很紧很紧。。好像害怕，很怕我会蒸发掉一样。。
看我的眼神也总是很认真。。很专注。。
那种专注。。 我甚至至今也没有办法在别人身上找到。。
空秋千曾经在那以后，是我不敢听得一首歌。。
但是现在我已经能够在听过很多遍以后，还会很甜的笑。。
我喜欢你的歌声。那是一种很诚恳的声音。。
喜欢你单纯的浪漫。。。
喜欢你不爱说话，不会找话题。。可是却愿意让我滔滔不绝。。
你总是让我，和你一起的时候完全失去提防。。那么得没有压力。。不用保留。
也喜欢你受不了我，无奈而微笑的眼神。。
喜欢你把手放在我的额头。。
也喜欢你很害羞的样子。。
可是，我虽然不愿意承认，
可是。。。这些回忆。。。都变得好淡好淡。。淡得。。只剩下感觉了。。
画面已经很模糊。。笑声也变得很微妙。。
很遗憾，我们连一张合照都没有。。
所以
我会向前看。。
等待，等待那个。。。
值得我等待的人。。。等待，那个会牵着我手，无论如何不会放开的那一双手。。
我已经不是那个站在迷宫里等人来带我走出来的我。
其实一早就已经不是。
因为我早就靠我自己，走到现在。。。。从你，丢下我的那个地方，
从到了现在。。
谢谢你让我成长。给了我回忆。。。
谢谢你再没有人发现我的时候，找到了我。
你依然一样无可取代。。你依然。。在我心里。。你还是唯一的你。。
谢谢你喜欢那份礼物。。
希望你记得我们曾经一起，幸福过。。嘿。。
也希望你依然记得。。至少。。。。。我想在你心里，
我不是你的陌路人。。。
可是现在，
我有更需要我珍惜的人了。
要好好啊！呵呵。加油！
我喜欢你。我真得曾经很喜欢过你。景缘。

Oh gosh,
This few days I'm so damn busy!
need to paint my house and attends friend's party~
Money so easily gone lerh!@_@
I wasted so a lot in this month =p
This few days i accompanied my mom go search for her clothes, went to fren's party and
i missed crow's party, so sorry! ng hou yi si!

In that party, many of my friends had changed a lot.
I met a guy that i like before in 1u.
Just like the storyline in the drama，on the esculator,I'm going down to parking, he is on the opposite lane of me.
That time, my heart beats so fast once I saw him.
I tried before think for him for the wholeeeeee day，
I cried before，laughed before too。End up its really a meaningless secret admiration.
Now he is not my type already,
the funniest is,
He cant recognize me at all，
well，i had changed a lot,
hahaha。my friend said if they never really looked at me seriously,
they also can't recognize me out.
last time,
I'm so easily get ignored by people.

The crowd is so easily forgot about my existance,
Just like i'm invisible,
Just like the leaf,
But he had seen me . the only him that time.
A person you like before, if someday u meet him somewhere,
its just like someone on the street,
will you feel upset? uneasy?
of course, i'm not saying that fella i met in 1u that day,
is him, 1 year ago, i met him in 1u also.
just like the drama, beside me there is a guy. haha..
but he just like never see me. or really nvr see me?

We had been together before，
we made promise together...
we did the romances before...
building up our memories before....
we have our hapiness before...
and of course,
we did regret of hurting each other before...
we also had felt lost together before,
But if someday you both met。。
Just feel like he or she is nobody on the street。。
it just feel so..kinda funny, like the drama, god is having a fool with us?
felt so helpless...
and heartache,

he still being fine?
He get thinner，
He still eat like before?
he is still like that time?
still smiling?
argued with mom again?
did her sis bully him?
How about his study? how is his college's life?
Homework still okay? dealing hard with it?
Even if i know if i ask, he wont give me the real answer...
Because i had lost the right... to be together with him... to face the sadness and hapiness together... to build up the memories together...
The way, might goes on the opposite direction...
Do we have a meeting point?
Or just like two parallel line?
Or.. you are actually avoiding me?
Actually，
it's already not important at all now...
at least i know you are doing well, you're fine...
you're fine......add on a formal smile.
It made me felt our distances actually had gone so far...
but,
I had accepted the fact.
those lefted memories..
And now，
I won't look back.

Before, I stood at the initial point,
I look back and look back.. and staying there for a long moment,
I tried before，missing you，and i even don't dare to go in my room,
stand in front the door, like i can hear the voice im smiling inside while i'm on the phone with you.
even when i walk on the road we walked togeter before，
my tears will lost control and drop off itself,
I tried before angry with myself for being like this,
Your shyness of smile...its so warm to me... Just like it can melt whole of my heart,
You hand always covered me so tightly,
just like so scare, scare that I will suddenly dissapear,
The way you look into me, is so concentrated, like the whole world thats only me,
I can't find this type of concentration in other's eyes,
even until now.
the abandoned this song, is the song i so scared to hear before at the time,
But now i already can smile after i listen to that song, really.
I like the way you sing, it the most sincerely voice,
I like your way of thinking, so simple yet romantic.
I like you don't like to talk，you don't find topic.but you are willing to let me talk beside of you.
even annoying.hahaha.
you always let me feel so free and so comfortable, like i no need to hide anything from you.
I like your face when you are angrying with me,
I like you, when you put your hand on my forehead..
i like you when your face are red and shy,
but , even taht i don't want to admit,
Those memories...had became so faraway,
I can't really recall the all of it, eventhough i tried so hard to keep it in my heart.
i felt so sorry that we have no photos that we took together,
that's why
I will look forward。。
Wait, wait for who。。。
who worth me to 。。。wait for the hand which will hold me tightly and never let go，
I'm already not the one who waiting you to bring me out from the maze.
actually i'm not her since very long ago.
Because i had walked out from the maze, since the day u thrown me alone in there.
Thank you,
for the memories you gave,
thank you because you had found me when nobody could. you had seen me when no ppls gonna take note of me.
You still the one that no ppl could replace。。You're still there
。。in my heart。。right there, only for you。。
thank you for appreciating the present。。
I wish you still remember we had our memories before，heh
I wish you could 。。at least in your heart..
i'm not nobody.
but now，
I had someone i need to treasure more nicely already.
Take care！hehehe。gambatte！aza aza fighting
I love you。I really did . jinyan.